Road Block

Apparently I require more practice goal setting.  In work I excel at execution and reaching a target; but this process is a real struggle for me.  Do I really know what I want to be? What I want to do? What I want to have? 
My deep thinking usually happens when I am running or riding my bike.  Perhaps the task of writing my thoughts is my personal road block that I must work through.  I am frustrated as I look through my many pages of partially composed thoughts.  Why can’t I do this?  Am I afraid of actually achieving what I want? 
Can I re-think my life as coming from a place of success rather than always attempting?  I know I am not afraid of failure.
This past year I took a step towards my dream job.  I resigned my employment with the long term contracts I held for years and set out to work for a company that I was convinced offered me THE JOB.  My husband called it my mid-life crisis.  But somewhere along the way the promises of the position did not materialize and I suffered – physically, emotionally and intellectually.  And then after one particularly difficulty week I began to grow stronger. Looking back I think I wanted the change so badly I heard what I wanted to hear about the job and not the reality. 

Now the hard part – resisting the temptation of going back to what was.  Road block.  What do I need the more… the money; the comfort; or the opportunity to soar?  How do each of these relate to goals I have for myself?  Why are my goals not clear?

If I can train the long hours and complete an ironman competition I can sit for one hour and come up with specific goals.  I really want this…
I need help.  Maybe I will go for a run, my hour was up a long time ago.  I hope to be back with a story of success.

~ Darcel

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